If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.
Ever hid money from your spouse?[1. ©2015 Brandon L. Blankenship. Image Credit Girl Hiding Steven Depolo flickr CC by 2.0.] Ever bought something and just kept it to yourself? Got a credit card only you know about? Turns out you are not alone. According to Credit Karma, 17% of millennials confessed to hiding purchases from their spouse, while 11 % said they had a hidden bank account or credit card.[2. https://www.creditkarma.com/article/money-mistakes-young-couples-should-avoid-11615 (retrieved 20 November 2015)] Here are some thoughts to consider.
- Nothing is really hidden, at least not forever. No matter how smart you are or how diligent you are or how good you are at keeping secrets, the truth will come out.[3. Mark 4:22 For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought out into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. See also, Matthew 10:26, Luke 12:2 and Luke 8:17.]
- The issue will be trust not money. It is easy to trick yourself into believing that a small money matter won’t matter that much. When the hidden money matter is revealed, however, the real issue won’t be about money. It will be about trust. Marriage can survive without money. It cannot survive without trust.
- Little habits become big lifestyles. All those little things you have to do to keep a money matter secret become habits. The habits you develop to cover up a small money matter establish a lifestyle of deception that limits intimacy and authenticity. Generally, you will receive out of a marriage what you invest in it. Which would you rather receive?
Here is the good news: you get to choose. If you want to take the dare, you can – with uncertain, almost surely negative results. Why not choose the truth?