“Little Bit,” our youngest, went home after school with friends and is spending the night. At first she was clingy and conflicted about going. She would miss us too much. I didn’t tell her that I would probably miss her more. I just assured her that I was only a phone call away and she would be having too much fun to even stop and call.
She went anyway and the other mom sent me a text confirming that she is, of course, giggling constantly and having a ball. She has, however, snuck in a few texts to let me know she’s OK and to ask a couple of questions. I’m glad to know she has found a way to balance the fun and staying connected.
Since dropping her off at school this morning, I had the whole day ahead of me and some decisions to make on how to spend it. There was the ever popular but unwelcome “cleaning” option. I could have gone the “organization” route. I briefly lingered over the “day of pampering” option, but decided that should wait for another day. I quickly landed on “spend the day with my husband.” I am so glad I did.
Tagging along with him today, I realized that I am so focused on being a mom and homemaker. I rarely spend much of my focus or time being a wife. I work to squeeze in a little alone time with him when he gets in at night and on weekends. We both make the effort to email, text or talk by phone daily, but the truth is we are rarely together. His career calls for more than the 8 hour work day and we’re never sure when we will actually see him. I’ve always felt like we were very close and we work on our marriage. It’s better than the average marriage, I think. Of course, 1/2 of marriages these days end in divorce, so I guess it’s much better than average.
We spent the morning at his office and I brought a few things to work on while I sat out of the way in his office. I am amazed at his abilities, listening to him on the phone and watching him with his coworkers. A sense of pride wells up and I am so glad to be his wife. I’m certainly getting the better end of the deal.
For the afternoon, we drove and hour and a half to a special meeting where he was one of several chosen to work with others from around the state on behalf of their profession for some upcoming event that I don’t really understand yet. Again, very cool. Getting to talk with him for that long on the way there and back was a rarity and a joy. He was running ideas by me and I was able to get some advice on several things I am struggling with. We really connected. No kids. No phone.
Immediately after his meeting he took me to a nice restaurant for lunch. “Nice” being better than a drive through but not quite as fancy as say, a full service white tablecloth meal. He told the waitress we were in no hurry, that he was spending the day with his wife. Big grin from me. Maybe even a little blush and eye flutter. I felt a little like a school girl again with my big crush on him.
He makes me laugh everyday. Even if I don’t want to. I love that. I loved that today. That is so important in a marriage. We set some goals today and made some plans. We laughed and teased. We held hands a lot. We smooched some, too. I love this amazing man.
Sitting back at his office now, I’m writing this and watching him work on his computer. I love wearing the mom “hat,” but realize that “wife” really comes first. It’s through our connection that we model to our daughter how to have her own life outside our home one day. God gives it priority over our relationship with our children. I realize that I need to look outside the immediate needs of the kids and spend more of my focus where it should be…on my husband and his needs.
My daughter texts to tell me she’s going out with her friends to the school play. I’m very grateful for that connection, that bond of love between us. I am even more grateful for the bond I share with my husband. I am truly blessed.